A Letter To My Struggling Self
⚠️ This may be triggering for those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, so PLEASE take that into consideration before deciding to keep reading. ⚠️
As many of you know, but some may not know, I was hospitalized for my mental health 4 years ago. Long story (kinda) short.... Once I was open to my husband and mom about how the thoughts of suicide kept coming up, they sent me right to my doctor. From then on everything kind of became a blur. I was prescribed antidepressants for the first time. Those escalated my suicidal thoughts. Then I was sent to the hospital and put in an outpatient program. And that’s when my life changed for the better. I was finally forced to work on myself and was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I wanted to write this letter to my past self in case someone’s current self is in a similar position.
Life sure does feel scary now, doesn’t it? Others around you probably think your life is perfect, but your thoughts are telling you otherwise. Don’t feel guilty for struggling even though you have a nice home, wonderful husband, etc.. Just because someone’s life seems perfect from the outside doesn’t mean they don’t struggle too. Don’t let the guilt stop you from getting the help.
I know leaving the world feels like the only option you have, but you have so much more. Asking for help may sound daunting, but believe me the other option is much worse. Your struggles may end, but the struggles for your loved ones would just begin. Not only that, but you have no idea what’s to come ahead for you. So much more than you even thought was possible! Believe me.
Four years from now you will have a wonderful husband, THE cutest 1 year old baby boy, an understanding and loving family, your dream home with the best neighbors, friends that are the best friends you’ve ever had, and so much more. Don’t give up. I know giving up sounds so much easier, but your future is waiting for you. It gets better. You get the help you’ve always needed. And deserved. You learn more about yourself which helps you become the best version of yourself. Believe me.
Oh and you know that dream you had in 3rd grade about becoming a Children’s author?? You become just that! And this scary time you’re in now is what inspired you to write the book. To not only help yourself, but to help all the kids like yourself. Ask for the help. For yourself. For your loved ones. For those kids. Ask for the help. You’ll thank yourself later. Believe me.
Your Future Self