Anticipating A Rough Season Of Life... Go In For That Tune Up!
Updated: Apr 18, 2020
Just went in for that tune up anticipating a more difficult season of life coming up! I texted my therapist right when I hit the bathroom floor from a rush of emotions the other day. More than a year ago, when I first met her I basically was living on my bathroom floor. It was the only place where I felt comfort from my anxiety. I would spend hours laying on the floor either sleeping, crying, panicking, etc.. I'm not really sure what's so comforting about a bathroom floor in those moments, but in my hardest times that's where I find my comfort.
Anyways, I didn't spend a lot of time on the bathroom floor the other day. Once I realized that I didn't need to be on the floor, I pulled myself together to get up. Actually, right as I was getting up is when my therapist called me to check in on me. The first thing I said on the phone was, "I'm getting off the floor right now!" because I knew she would have rather had me use my other coping strategies instead of going to the floor. However, she actually surprised me! She told me that with the bad news I had just heard, it was okay to go to the bathroom floor as long as I got up and didn't stay there for too long. This made me feel better because I felt guilty using the bathroom floor to comfort me.
Regardless of me being able to get off the floor quickly, I still scheduled an appointment with her which I actually just got back from! It was a very good session and I am so glad that I went. Even though I feel pretty stable now, I know that this next season of life may be a little more difficult for me. I plan to keep seeing her again every other week or so for awhile just to stay on top of things, so I don't dip back down into a dark place. I can compare this to like studying for a big test. You can choose to start studying early for it or you can wait until the last minute. Before I fully understood my mental health process, I would wait until the last minute because I didn't know any better. However, I've lived and I learned and now I know to go in for help earlier than later!
Well that's all I got for now! It felt good to write a blog post because I feel like it's been awhile. I'm planning to write more posts especially during this time in my life where I'll need to write to keep my mental health stable. So stay tuned...