• Kristina Cherep

Being Able To Say “No” Is Healthier Than Being A “Yes Man”

Updated: Apr 18, 2020

There’s a movie called ”Yes Man” and I know this because it was actually the first movie Kirk and I saw together before we started dating. I’ve also heard a lot of business people talk about the importance in saying yes to things and being a yes man. Whether that be to opportunities, friendships, conversations, or favors. I don’t necessarily agree with this motto all the time.

Learning to say no to things and people is one of the healthiest things you can do. If you know that thing is not healthy for you or not something you agree with. It means you’re setting boundaries with people and life and that’s a good thing! If you say yes to every opportunity, conversation, friendship and favor, you’re probably doing that to please other people. Are you doing what’s best for you though? And no that’s not a selfish thing to ask!! I learned this in therapy.

Setting boundaries can be terrifying and uncomfortable, but it’s healthy. When I do set boundaries, sometimes I question if it was the right thing to do. I may start worrying. However, then I ask myself how do I feel? Would I rather have not set that boundary and keep things the same? Don’t sacrifice your happiness just because of the worry of what someone else may think of you.

I used to say yes or agree or let things be allll the time. I used to let things slide and let people walk all over me. ”Walking all over you” isn’t necessarily as obvious to point out as you think. Letting someone walk all over you, could be someone talking about something or someone that makes you feel uncomfortable or isn’t appropriate for them to talk to you about. Until you say no and set boundaries, they will keep having these types of conversations with you. If you just let it be and it’s something that negatively affects you, that’s you saying yes to them in an indirect way. Another example is a passive aggressive person. If you let someone keep saying passive aggressive comments without saying anything back, that is letting someone walk all over you. That is most likely negatively affecting your life.

I used to live this way because I was so worried about what others thought of me. I still do worry about that, but not obsessively or in a way that dictates my life. I’ve seen a huge difference in my mental and emotional health because I have gone from being a “yes man” to being a girl who says yes and a girl that can also set boundaries and say no when I want and need to. I want to point out that this is not the same thing as not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Don‘t be afraid to say yes to things that get you out of your comfort zone. Just make sure it’s a healthy choice for you!