• Kristina Cherep

Can You Really Love Someone If You Don't Love Yourself Sometimes?

We have all heard this saying before, but is it true? From my personal experience I know that it is hard to show your love for someone else when you don't love yourself. That doesn't mean you don't love them anymore. It's just hidden by your negative thoughts. During my highest peaks of anxiety or lowest pits of depression, I get moody, insecure, and often times isolate myself. In these times my love for him doesn't go away; it's just hidden. Luckily, he knows this about me and understands that I need some space during those times.

It wasn't always that easy for us though and it still sometimes isn't. Before I really was aware of my depression and anxiety, he and I would get into arguments that really didn't need to happen. All I really needed was some space and a more clear mind. He used to tell me in high school that when I got upset I acted like a completely different person. He told me it almost felt like someone else. This made me even more confused about myself. I honestly thought something was wrong with me. Little did I know, those were my two friends Anxiety and Depression. In these fights I used to think that either he didn't love me or I didn't love him. That wasn't the truth at all, in our case.

Going back to the saying, 'you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself'... This is an unfair saying especially to those who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses. That's saying that people with depression can never really love, which is not true. Love is obviously a hard thing to measure, but I have depression and I have loved someone for almost eight years now. Yeah it isn't the easiest when my depression hits really hard, but is any relationship easy? If you haven't figured it out by now the answer to that is NO.

Loving someone takes hard work and commitment. Having depression, loving yourself also takes hard work and commitment. If you don't love yourself sometimes it's okay, as long as you try to pull yourself back together. No relationship is easy, including the one with yourself. Take care of yourself no matter what your thoughts are telling you!