• Kristina Cherep

Don't Assume Someone Is Happy

Because we all know the saying assuming makes an _____ out of u and me. One of the hardest parts about me accepting my depression and anxiety was that 'I had everything.' I just graduated from college, moved into a beautiful community, got multiple job offers in my degree, married my best friend, etc. Not only would I tell myself that I had everything, but people would tell me I did to. That's one of the reasons why I was so confused how I could feel the way I was feeling.

Mental illness episodes take over your life. It's exhausting. I felt out of control of everything. I couldn't even control what I could think about. It was nonstop. It was miserable. While I was feeling this way, I had a few people question why I was feeling this way because I had everything going for me. This made me feel guilty and like a spoiled brat. How could I not be happy when other people had actual reasons to not be happy?

Depression and Anxiety. That's how. Please do not try to give reasons for someone to be happy because depression and anxiety don't have rational thoughts. At the time all the thoughts seem true, but most of the time they are not. It's okay to have negative thoughts even if you had just gotten married, gotten your dream job, or even have just had a baby. It's okay! That's not a reflection on who you are. It's a reflection on your mental health. When you are having reoccurring negative thoughts; give yourself a break and seek help. Whether that is self-care, therapy, or whatever helps you. Do it.

Do not try to reason with depression or anxiety because it won't make sense. Sometimes your brain is just telling you that it needs to be taken care of. And that's okay. Seek the help you need instead of questioning your marriage, job, child, or whatever it is. These negative thoughts do not necessarily mean that your marriage is falling apart, your job is too difficult, or you don't love your child/your child doesn't love you. Those are just thoughts. They're not rational. They're emotional. After you seek help, you will most likely find where the real problem stems from. You will then be able to start enjoying your marriage, job, child, or

One of the most damaging things you can say to someone is, How can you not be happy? That question is not helpful in anyway. It may even cause them even more pain. Be careful with how you treat people or what you say because you could end up hurting them more.