• Kristina Cherep

How Pregnancy Has Motivated Me To Push Myself More In Therapy

Updated: Apr 18, 2020

I’ve caught myself having major pregnancy mood swings & one of the things to combat that is donuts! Food is a good combat during pregnancy don’t get me wrong, but so is therapy! Throughout my pregnancy, my therapist and I are planning to meet every other week or so. Hormones have definitely played a huge effect on my emotional well being lately. I’m going to tell you about one thing I’m working on in therapy to kind of hold myself accountable.

I grew up a verrrry passive person, but thanks to therapy (& hormones) I find myself being more assertive nowadays. My therapist is very proud of me for this, but also sees the need to fine tune the assertiveness, so it doesn’t turn out to be aggressiveness. Because let me tell ya, pregnancy rage is a thing and you don’t want to be on the other end of it! My therapist and husband have both told me they sometimes want to put a sign on me to let others know I’m pregnant 🙈

The only exception to my assertiveness seems to be someone being passive aggressive towards me. I tend to shut down because I don’t even know where to begin to respond. Like the person makes the comment sound nice because it’s usually done in a light tone, but then once you process what they actually said you just think “wait, what did they just say?!” I find myself having an easier time being able to respond to someone who is being assertive or aggressive than someone who is being passive aggressive to me. My therapist said that’s also her least favorite way of communication.

I do sometimes deal with passive aggressive people in my life (as I’m sure many of you do too), but I’ve kind of just let them get away with it. However, I told my therapist that I don’t want to just slide under the rug passive aggressive comments that are especially related to my pregnancy or parenting or child. Because I know they will probably come up. I also don’t want my child to be surrounded by that type of energy. It’s not only negative, but it’s confusing. If I allow every passive aggressive comment slide, what would that be teaching them?! It would kind of be teaching them that it’s okay to be rude to someone as long as you sound nice doing it.

My future baby is motivating me to ask for the skills to actively work on being able to respond to passive aggressiveness in a healthy way. If it were just me and no baby, I think I would probably just continue to tell myself to deal with the comments and ignore them. Just because that’s what I’m used to doing and I also don’t know how to respond to those types of comments. However, I want to work more on my emotional intelligence moreso for my babe. It’s kind of crazy how my baby is already wanting me to become a better version of myself and they’re not even born yet!