Red & Green Flags When Finding A Therapist


Choosing to go to therapy is a huge and amazing step someone can take. Finding the right therapist for you can sometimes be even more difficult.

I’ve been with my therapist now for four years. She wasn’t the first therapist I went to though. She was the fourth! The other three just weren’t for me. For multiple reasons.

The green and red flags for therapists I list below may not be the same for everyone. Finding a therapist is kind of like dating. Everyone has different preferences. But I’m hoping my flags help someone in finding the right therapist for them!


Red Flags 🚩


  • They talk down to you like you’re a child

  • They minimize your feelings by saying other people have it much worse than you

  • They over share about themselves

  • You feel judged or interrogated after your sessions

  • You don’t trust them

  • They don’t remember things or people you’ve mentioned in previous sessions


Green Flags 🌿

  • You’re not embarrassed in sharing your thoughts or trauma

  • You feel like they’re your ally

  • They have specialties that relate to your struggles or what you want to work on (ex: anxiety, grief/loss, PTSD, etc.)

  • They have their own therapist that they see

  • They give you tools to use in your every day life

  • They challenge you in a respectful way

  • They don’t claim to be a perfect person

  • You feel validated

  • You see progress in yourself over a period of time


Just like any relationship or friendship you have, you want it to be healthy. This is no different for your relationship with your therapist. My close friends and family know my therapist by first name because I am proud to share how she has helped me!

Depending on how I’m doing, sometimes I see her multiple times a week, every other week, once a month, once every few months. Everytime I go back though it feels like no time has passed. I feel comfortable sitting on her pink couch and in a way it feels like a second home. That’s what therapy can feel like if you find the right therapist for you!


Hi, thanks for stopping by!

Just a reminder, I'm not a medical professional! Not a therapist or doctor. My advice is based off of my own experiences being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. A lot of the tips I share are things I've learned from my therapist! 

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