Red & Green Flags When Finding A Therapist
Choosing to go to therapy is a huge and amazing step someone can take. Finding the right therapist for you can sometimes be even more difficult.
I’ve been with my therapist now for four years. She wasn’t the first therapist I went to though. She was the fourth! The other three just weren’t for me. For multiple reasons.
The green and red flags for therapists I list below may not be the same for everyone. Finding a therapist is kind of like dating. Everyone has different preferences. But I’m hoping my flags help someone in finding the right therapist for them!
Red Flags 🚩
They talk down to you like you’re a child
They minimize your feelings by saying other people have it much worse than you
They over share about themselves
You feel judged or interrogated after your sessions
You don’t trust them
They don’t remember things or people you’ve mentioned in previous sessions
Green Flags 🌿
You’re not embarrassed in sharing your thoughts or trauma
You feel like they’re your ally
They have specialties that relate to your struggles or what you want to work on (ex: anxiety, grief/loss, PTSD, etc.)
They have their own therapist that they see
They give you tools to use in your every day life
They challenge you in a respectful way
They don’t claim to be a perfect person
You feel validated
You see progress in yourself over a period of time
Just like any relationship or friendship you have, you want it to be healthy. This is no different for your relationship with your therapist. My close friends and family know my therapist by first name because I am proud to share how she has helped me!
Depending on how I’m doing, sometimes I see her multiple times a week, every other week, once a month, once every few months. Everytime I go back though it feels like no time has passed. I feel comfortable sitting on her pink couch and in a way it feels like a second home. That’s what therapy can feel like if you find the right therapist for you!