• Kristina Cherep

Should You Become A Mom If You Have A Mental Illness?

If you know me at all then you know I am a huge kid person. If you know me very well then you know I want six kids including kids I want to adopt from the Philippines. For someone to tell me I shouldn't have kids, especially my psychiatrist, was one of the hardest things someone has ever told me. I was in complete shock when he told me that. It was right before I was about to be done with my appointment. Why would he say that to me?

Of course my response was, "Why?" even though I really didn't want to know why he thought that. His response was, "I'm afraid you will love them too much and if they ever get sick or hurt, you will go into a deep depression and have a lot of anxiety." I had no response to that because no one ever told me something like this before. In fact, I never even thought about how my depression and anxiety would be like once I had kids.

When I walked out of his office, I cried. I cried in the elevator, I cried walking to my car, I cried all the way home. I could never imagine my life without having my own kids. I thought that was my purpose in life. To be a mom. It's what I've always dreamed to be even when I was a kid myself. My husband and I had all our kid's names picked out. We even talked about what they may look or be like. Now someone is telling me I shouldn't have my own.

You would think this would have crushed me and brought me down, but after the crying it made me fight harder. Now I had more to fight for to get better. I not only wanted to improve myself for myself, my friends, and my family but now for my future family. Yeah, having depression and anxiety would be tough as a mom, but being a mom in general is tough. Moms are the strongest kinds of people, so moms with mental illnesses have to be stronger.

I've had multiple moms reach out to me ever since I posted my blog. They shared their struggles and stories with me about having postpartum depression and other mental illnesses. They told me how hard it is, but never once did they tell me they regretted having their children, which is why I won't let my mental illness stop me from having my own.

These moms who reached out to me also told me one day they would type a blog out for me to post anonymously. They will share with you first-hand what it's like to be a mom with a mental illness. I could talk to them and ask them questions about what it's like, but I will never truly understand until I have my first child.

If you are a mom and suffer or have suffered from postpartum depression or another mental illness please feel free to contact me or even type out your story that I can post for others to read. Everyone who wants to be a mom deserves to be a mom despite if they have a mental illness or not!