Showing Kids You’re Not Perfect Is Perfection
Updated: Apr 18, 2020
It’s nice to think your parents are a superhero when you’re a kid. It makes you feel protected. However, is that beneficial for kids emotionally? If we make it seem that we’re perfect for kids then they may have too high of expectations for themselves. If we never show a mistake or talk about our mistakes with kids then they may not understand that it’s ok to make a mistake. BECAUSE IT IS OK! Hate to break it to ya, you’re not perfect. No one really is. That’s what makes us all beautiful in our own unique ways.
You can tell kids to take deep breaths when they’re feeling upset. Do they understand you’re telling them this because you have used this tool for yourself before? They may not. I’ve noticed that kids seem to be interested in my past and present hardships too. They don’t feel so alone then. After I told a kid I nanny to take deep breaths and they continued to scream and cry, I said “You know when I’m upset I take deep breaths sometimes too and it helps me calm down.” The look I got was so shocking to me! He calmed down a little and said “Really? Did your parents tell you to do that when you were younger?” Then this started a whole conversation and it actually helped him to forget about why he was upset. This isn’t the only time or situation I’ve experienced this with kids. Even though they’re only a toddler, they need a logical reason to do something sometimes. They also need to feel connected and understood. Isn‘t that what we all need?
When someone tells me to do something I’ve never done before, one of my first questions is why? Also, does it work? Who does this? Kids want to know these things too when you suggest them to do something they’ve never heard of or done before.
You may think you’re protecting your kids by never sharing or telling them you make mistakes. However, that’s not what kids truly need. Sure, they need you to be awesome parents, but they also have to understand that you’re not always awesome. And that’s ok! This will help them understand more about themselves and the world than if you show them no flaws of your own.