When Someone Pulls The Rug From Underneath You, Catch Yourself!
This is an impromptu post based on the situation I was put in today. Recently, I decided to back out of a very toxic friendship. It wasn't doing any of us any good. However, with that comes a lot of explaining to do. I was messaged by someone today, saying how I needed to grow up and make up with the person. I received two long text messages saying this. Before I even got to tell my side of the story they were putting the blame on me. In the past this would have CRUSHED me. I would have gone into a deep depression and cried a lot. I would have probably had an anxiety attack right in that moment of reading the messages. However, I didn't. And you know why? Because I love myself.
I love myself so much that instead of crying about it, I stood up for myself and told my story. I explained to them everything that person has done to make me want to back out of that friendship. I explained that I have learned how important it is to surround myself with positive people. I need to do this because of my anxiety and depression. And also because who really wants to be surrounded by negativity?
I reminded them that if they had sent me this message a year ago, it would have crushed me. I also reminded them that several months ago I wanted to kill myself and that I am in a much better place now. And I intend to keep it that way. You know how I'm going to try to keep myself in a good place? I'm going to make myself and my happiness my number one priority because if I didn't then I wouldn't even have other priorities. I wouldn't even be here.
Basically, I am writing this now because I still feel the adrenaline from it all. Also, because this proved to me how much I have truly changed. I have become stronger from everything I was put through this year. My anxiety and depression episode actually made me a stronger person. NOT a weaker person. This definitely would have been something that would have "ruined" my whole birthday weekend that's coming up. However, I am not letting this ruin my birthday weekend. It is making me even more excited to celebrate ME!
If you know someone who has depression or anxiety, be kinder with your words and accusations. Actually, with anyone you talk to...